In our first blog posts, Sheree and I discussed Sex before marriage. Since then we have taken the opportunity to discuss this topic of forgiveness from the testimonial standpoint. The subject of sex in general is a very personal topic that isn't meant to be lightly discussed. Still, it must not be a taboo that is to be avoided in any case. Rather, one can learn from the experiences of others and use that knowledge to help set established boundaries for intimate interpersonal relationships. People don’t plan to fail, they simply often fail to plan. The time to deal with the powerful sexual drive is before it has the chance to draw us into situations that are likely to result in wounding the very people we care about and lead to remorse. Either we control it or it controls us. Emotion-driven decisions can lead to irrational, sinful decisions and ultimately cause our hearts to harden.
I personally remember one such situation with an ex-girlfriend that started off in an immoral manner. The precedence had already been and we were living life in sin. Through the relationship we had many issues that derived from the fact that we had already crossed boundaries that were meant for marriage. Many fights were the result and a level of distrust existed between us. The emotions we experienced on a deep level turned into feelings of hurt which affected many people around us. Mutual friends took sides and many people were hurt in the process. This relationship eventually brought me down to my knees in prayer. In an effort to better understand the dynamics of the situation and to encourage the healing process I began to go back through the episode. How was it that the relationship ended in such a hurtful manner?
I soon realized that most of our issues were deeply rooted in the fact that we had crossed boundaries that shouldn't have been crossed. The convictions which initially warned me that I was about to into dangerous territory eventually weakened. The result was immoral behavior with its hurtful consequences. Like the prodigal son, I came to my right mind and the healing began. We need to confess our sins to the Lord and break off relationships that lead us or tempt us into further sin. This may be hard to hear, but it is necessary. When our hearts are hardened - our prayers can’t be heard, John 9:31 declares this. Due to the very personal nature of these issues, it is only natural to want to not deal with them. But deal with them we must. Satan, the enemy of our soul, uses shame and guilt to tempt us to not deal with the consequences of immoral behavior, because he knows that once they have been dealt with, the healing and learning process can begin. Ephesians 6:10-17 reminds us: If we are faced with a situation that is spinning out of control - we need to run to God immediately and repent of our sins. In James 4:8 we learn: Due to the fact our fight is in the spiritual realm and not that of the flesh, it is very important to purify our hearts constantly. This establishes guidelines for us. Once we give birth to the desires of our flesh, we have to understand that we give birth to sin. James 1:13-16 God never tempts us because He cannot be tempted by evil. It is our own lust that tempts us and leads into the traps of our flesh. A hardened heart erects a wall that interferes with our prayers being heard by God. John 9:31.
What’s wonderful about our God is that He will forgive us if we confess our sins to him. 1 John 1:9. 2 Chronicles 7:14 God created us and called us to be obedient. It is through obedience alone that we remain within His holy will for our lives. Since we know that God cannot hear our hearts because of our sins then, why not repent and turn away from these sins? According to Psalm 31:5 - When we approach the throne of God, it is important to understand where our hearts are. We must not approach the throne of grace with lip service alone; for the result will be that our hearts are far from Him. If we do not do an examination of our heart and confess our sins, our Heavenly Father will not hear us, for such an attitude is not true repentance. Hebrews 4:16 states, Examine your hearts when asking for forgiveness. Psalms 139:23-24 tells us: Ask God to show you away out of the situation.
If you are saved and have accepted Jesus into your heart (a Christian) then you will feel the convictions of the Holy Spirit when you are involved in sin; in this case, the matter is sexual sin. If you do not feel the conviction of the Spirit, then you are either not saved or your heart has been so hardened by your sin, that you hinder the healing work of the Holy Spirit.
Carefully examine the scripture 1 Corinthians 5:4-5 to understand how serious bondage can become. Rest assured that God takes sin seriously. The key to God’s forgiveness is to forgive others. Matthew 6:12-15 states: Pray about your situations and turn them over to God. He loves you so much - even while when we sin. Romans 5:7-9 states: All of your sexual sins can be forgiven. The blood of Christ is too great to be defeated by your sin. Jesus paid a great price on the cross (1 Peter 2:24). He shed His blood and gave His life for you. If you are a Christian, then you have been bought with a great price. You are not your own and the Lord always longs to fellowship with you (1 Corinthians 1:9). All you need to know is that you must confess your sin to God and repent of it. This means you stop doing it. You are called by God to purity, not to sexual immorality. As you obey and trust in Him, He will enable you to lead a godly life before Him. Thanks for the time to read my thoughts on the subject and here is what Sheree has to say on this subject..
Forgiveness; this is perhaps the greatest attribute of our loving King. In the last blog, I talked about how we as girls are emotionally attached when we become intimate. Even after the break up and months had gone by, my emotions were still affected and scarred. That “person” was in my head day in and day out. Even when I found someone new, I was still thinking of that other person. I found myself only remembering what was good and longing for away back.
God has taken me from the deepest valleys of depression, blame and sorrow, and brought me to the highest hill of His love, grace and mercy. Getting out of that valley was perhaps the toughest thing of my life. I was not only still emotionally attached but also in an unwavering wave of guilt and shame that I could not pull myself out of. I was not able to emotionally pull out of this until I broke all contact with that person and unfortunately even some of our mutual friends. When I finally was obedient in the Lord in doing this that is when my heart began to heal. It was like ripping a Band-Aid off. It was very hard at first, a lot of tears and loneliness; but the Lord had to bring me to break me to the point where I realized all I truly needed was Him. (Psalm 18:2)
The devil loves to condemn us and keep us down. Just as a lion preys on the injured and sickly deer, so the devil loves to prey on hurt and emotionally scarred people. (1 Peter 5:8) He wants to keep us down as long as he can and takes pleasure in doing so. I began begging God to heal me of these emotional ties; however, the Lord could not hear me because I was still mentally living in sin. I would dwell in the good memories of the relationship; I had not taken active steps myself in breaking the emotional ties yet was mad that God would not get me out of the valley I had put myself in. It was not until I became intentional with my desire to get out that God would begin to sovereignly free me from the chains of sin I had embraced myself in which was paralyzing me from living life. I asked the Lord for forgiveness and deleted any pictures, memories or ties from the relationship.
Things began to get better but I still had this wave of guilt and yet I still wanted back in the relationship. I found myself thinking if I had been a better girlfriend, if I was prettier etc. My next step was to come to the realization that that relationship was full of sin and therefore in no way could have been the Lords will. I also had to come to the realization that God loved me enough to have something better for me if I would only let this go. (Jeremiah 29:11) Thirdly, I had to not only know mentally in my head that I was forgiven for my sinful actions in the relationship but I also had to believe it in my heart. (1 John 1:9)
I began reading His word daily, and verbally denouncing the devils attacks of blame and guilt. I would speak the Lords promises aloud over and over again. I also began to reach out to others; I got plugged in where ever I could, and embedded my day in the Lords work. Slowly but surely the Lord began to pull me out of depression and guilt. The more I declared the Lords promises aloud and denounced the devils attacks with scripture the more I began to be freed. Finally and probably, one of the most crucial things that I did was to begin to find people in my circle of friends to hold me accountable. Strong mature Christian women that would check in on me and make sure that I was not continuing in sin. Through these vital steps and the Lords mercy, I was able to triumph over the bondage my sin had kept me in and experience his redeeming forgiveness. (Psalm 103:12)
I personally remember one such situation with an ex-girlfriend that started off in an immoral manner. The precedence had already been and we were living life in sin. Through the relationship we had many issues that derived from the fact that we had already crossed boundaries that were meant for marriage. Many fights were the result and a level of distrust existed between us. The emotions we experienced on a deep level turned into feelings of hurt which affected many people around us. Mutual friends took sides and many people were hurt in the process. This relationship eventually brought me down to my knees in prayer. In an effort to better understand the dynamics of the situation and to encourage the healing process I began to go back through the episode. How was it that the relationship ended in such a hurtful manner?
I soon realized that most of our issues were deeply rooted in the fact that we had crossed boundaries that shouldn't have been crossed. The convictions which initially warned me that I was about to into dangerous territory eventually weakened. The result was immoral behavior with its hurtful consequences. Like the prodigal son, I came to my right mind and the healing began. We need to confess our sins to the Lord and break off relationships that lead us or tempt us into further sin. This may be hard to hear, but it is necessary. When our hearts are hardened - our prayers can’t be heard, John 9:31 declares this. Due to the very personal nature of these issues, it is only natural to want to not deal with them. But deal with them we must. Satan, the enemy of our soul, uses shame and guilt to tempt us to not deal with the consequences of immoral behavior, because he knows that once they have been dealt with, the healing and learning process can begin. Ephesians 6:10-17 reminds us: If we are faced with a situation that is spinning out of control - we need to run to God immediately and repent of our sins. In James 4:8 we learn: Due to the fact our fight is in the spiritual realm and not that of the flesh, it is very important to purify our hearts constantly. This establishes guidelines for us. Once we give birth to the desires of our flesh, we have to understand that we give birth to sin. James 1:13-16 God never tempts us because He cannot be tempted by evil. It is our own lust that tempts us and leads into the traps of our flesh. A hardened heart erects a wall that interferes with our prayers being heard by God. John 9:31.
What’s wonderful about our God is that He will forgive us if we confess our sins to him. 1 John 1:9. 2 Chronicles 7:14 God created us and called us to be obedient. It is through obedience alone that we remain within His holy will for our lives. Since we know that God cannot hear our hearts because of our sins then, why not repent and turn away from these sins? According to Psalm 31:5 - When we approach the throne of God, it is important to understand where our hearts are. We must not approach the throne of grace with lip service alone; for the result will be that our hearts are far from Him. If we do not do an examination of our heart and confess our sins, our Heavenly Father will not hear us, for such an attitude is not true repentance. Hebrews 4:16 states, Examine your hearts when asking for forgiveness. Psalms 139:23-24 tells us: Ask God to show you away out of the situation.
If you are saved and have accepted Jesus into your heart (a Christian) then you will feel the convictions of the Holy Spirit when you are involved in sin; in this case, the matter is sexual sin. If you do not feel the conviction of the Spirit, then you are either not saved or your heart has been so hardened by your sin, that you hinder the healing work of the Holy Spirit.
Carefully examine the scripture 1 Corinthians 5:4-5 to understand how serious bondage can become. Rest assured that God takes sin seriously. The key to God’s forgiveness is to forgive others. Matthew 6:12-15 states: Pray about your situations and turn them over to God. He loves you so much - even while when we sin. Romans 5:7-9 states: All of your sexual sins can be forgiven. The blood of Christ is too great to be defeated by your sin. Jesus paid a great price on the cross (1 Peter 2:24). He shed His blood and gave His life for you. If you are a Christian, then you have been bought with a great price. You are not your own and the Lord always longs to fellowship with you (1 Corinthians 1:9). All you need to know is that you must confess your sin to God and repent of it. This means you stop doing it. You are called by God to purity, not to sexual immorality. As you obey and trust in Him, He will enable you to lead a godly life before Him. Thanks for the time to read my thoughts on the subject and here is what Sheree has to say on this subject..
Forgiveness; this is perhaps the greatest attribute of our loving King. In the last blog, I talked about how we as girls are emotionally attached when we become intimate. Even after the break up and months had gone by, my emotions were still affected and scarred. That “person” was in my head day in and day out. Even when I found someone new, I was still thinking of that other person. I found myself only remembering what was good and longing for away back.
God has taken me from the deepest valleys of depression, blame and sorrow, and brought me to the highest hill of His love, grace and mercy. Getting out of that valley was perhaps the toughest thing of my life. I was not only still emotionally attached but also in an unwavering wave of guilt and shame that I could not pull myself out of. I was not able to emotionally pull out of this until I broke all contact with that person and unfortunately even some of our mutual friends. When I finally was obedient in the Lord in doing this that is when my heart began to heal. It was like ripping a Band-Aid off. It was very hard at first, a lot of tears and loneliness; but the Lord had to bring me to break me to the point where I realized all I truly needed was Him. (Psalm 18:2)
The devil loves to condemn us and keep us down. Just as a lion preys on the injured and sickly deer, so the devil loves to prey on hurt and emotionally scarred people. (1 Peter 5:8) He wants to keep us down as long as he can and takes pleasure in doing so. I began begging God to heal me of these emotional ties; however, the Lord could not hear me because I was still mentally living in sin. I would dwell in the good memories of the relationship; I had not taken active steps myself in breaking the emotional ties yet was mad that God would not get me out of the valley I had put myself in. It was not until I became intentional with my desire to get out that God would begin to sovereignly free me from the chains of sin I had embraced myself in which was paralyzing me from living life. I asked the Lord for forgiveness and deleted any pictures, memories or ties from the relationship.
Things began to get better but I still had this wave of guilt and yet I still wanted back in the relationship. I found myself thinking if I had been a better girlfriend, if I was prettier etc. My next step was to come to the realization that that relationship was full of sin and therefore in no way could have been the Lords will. I also had to come to the realization that God loved me enough to have something better for me if I would only let this go. (Jeremiah 29:11) Thirdly, I had to not only know mentally in my head that I was forgiven for my sinful actions in the relationship but I also had to believe it in my heart. (1 John 1:9)
I began reading His word daily, and verbally denouncing the devils attacks of blame and guilt. I would speak the Lords promises aloud over and over again. I also began to reach out to others; I got plugged in where ever I could, and embedded my day in the Lords work. Slowly but surely the Lord began to pull me out of depression and guilt. The more I declared the Lords promises aloud and denounced the devils attacks with scripture the more I began to be freed. Finally and probably, one of the most crucial things that I did was to begin to find people in my circle of friends to hold me accountable. Strong mature Christian women that would check in on me and make sure that I was not continuing in sin. Through these vital steps and the Lords mercy, I was able to triumph over the bondage my sin had kept me in and experience his redeeming forgiveness. (Psalm 103:12)
